Introduction To The Faith
What Is Jamesianity?
Jamesianity is a religious faith whose adherents believe that the former gaming writer and designer James Wallis is a Prophet sent to Earth by God to lead us into a better roleplaying future [Creation 1, Verse 7].
Former Gaming Writer and Designer?
Yes. We gamers were not worthy of the Prophet, and so he left our roleplaying world [Creation 5, Verse 1].
What The Fuck Is This Creation Whatever, Verse Such-and-such Shit?
They are references to sections of the Authorised Book of James, which is the foundation of our faith. The above answer referenced the first verse of the fifth chapter of the Book of Creation.
Is Jamesianity Tolerant Towards Unbelievers?
A classic example of this is that during the most significant event in the history of Jamesianity, the creation by the Prophet of the sixth and most holy of relics [Assortum 1, Verse 9], a non-believer (Malcolm the Unbeliever) was not only present [Artefacts 7, Verse 9], and was not only a member of the spiritually significant Thirteen [Artefacts 7, Verse 19], but was chosen by the Prophet to provide the means (a cigarette lighter) of creating the sixth holy relic [Artefacts 7, Verse 12].
I think it's difficult to imagine any other major world religion having a non-believer play such an important role in a key spiritual moment.
So Is Malcolm The Unbeliever Some Sort Of "John The Bapist" Figure?
Of course not. What part of the word "unbeliever" did you not understand?
And besides, he's Scottish [Artefacts 7, Verse 17].
So What Are The Holy Relics?
They are symbols of the works of the Prophet, and of the regard in which we hold those works. There are six holy relics, of which the sixth is the greatest [Artefacts 1, Verse 1]. In order, the six relics are:
Isn't It A Bit Strange That The Sixth Holy Relic Incorporates A Tin For A Game Not Created By The Prophet?
I'm afraid that this is a common misunderstanding. The Sixth Holy Relic clearly consists of the ashes of the torn out page, with the Yu-Gi-Oh tin being merely a container [Artefacts 7, Verse 11]. The tin does clearly have a spiritual significance, but it is not a part of the holy relic itself.
Is The Cigarette Lighter A Holy Relic?
Again, this is a common misunderstanding; some people even refer to the cigarette lighter as "the seventh holy relic". But this is not the case. The Book of James clearly states that there are six holy relics [Artefacts 1, Verse 1].
How Should Jamesians Address Each Other?
Jamesianity is an egalitarian faith in which all followers are equal and are addressed simply as "brother", as in "Brother Peter". The exception to this is myself, who should be addressed as Archbishop Nexus.
How Come You Get To Be Archbishop?
Because the Prophet himself said that I am the only man he ever loved [Artefacts 3, Verse 6], which clearly indicates that I am his anointed one [Assortum 3, Verse 3].
What Is Jamesianity's Attitude To Animal Rights?
The Book of James steers a moderate, middle path on this subject. On one hand both the Prophet [Sayings 1, Verse 5] and myself Archbishop Nexus [Artefacts 5, Verse 6] have diets which avoid the consumption of meat.
But on the other hand, it also says that "man is the paragon of animals" [Assortum 2, Verse 2], which could be taken to imply that man has dominion over the animal kingdom.
What Is Jamesianity's Attitude To Drugs?
This is a very tricky theological area, and one which is the subject of much scholarly discussion. The Book of James first says this on the subject of drugs: "And if you do something really stupid like getting addicted to drugs because they give you combat bonuses ... then you deserve everything that's coming to you." [Responses 1, Verse 20].
Now there is a disagreement amongst Jamesians over the meaning of this section, because it could be read in two different ways: either that the act of getting addicted to drugs is stupid; or that gaining combat bonuses is a stupid and inadequate motivation for getting addicted to drugs.
Debate at this point often shifts to a second section, in which the book describes Nexus's slaying of a Puerto Rican during a game of Dog Town at Dragonmeet 2005 [Assortum 1, Verses 2 to 8]. This section clearly indicates that the Puerto Rican was deserving of a most terrible punishment, which would seem to reinforce the earlier line from the book: that those who get addicted to drugs deserve everything that's coming to them.
However, the book specifically describes that the Puerto Rican was gaining combat bonuses from the drugs he had taken [Assortum 1, Verse 3] which returns to the possibility that it was not the taking of drugs that made the Puerto Rican deserving of having a psycho kill him with a portable power drill, but his use of drugs to improve his abilities.
It's clearly an area that requires further theological discussion and research.
Should We Not Look On Usenet To See The Context In Which The Prophet's Sayings Were Uttered?
No. This is a common misunderstanding about the status of the Authorised Book of James. The books stands alone, as a guide and repository. It is not an index to further information, and it must not be used as such. The Prophet himself pointed out that information should be judged for what it is, and not for the context in which it is said when he pointed out that a joke about a stick is funny regardless of the context in which it is made [Sayings 8, Verse 7].
Where Can I Get More Information About Jamesianity?
In the Authorised Book Of James. The answers to every problem in the Universe will be found in there, if you just look hard enough.
Is This Thing For Real?
Well the Prophet himself did say: "Satire works best when it is difficult to discern it from truth." [Sayings 2, Verse 3]
How Do I Become A Jamesian?
You open your heart to the love of James. It's as simple as that.
Okay, I've Become A Jamesian... Now What Should I Do?
Well the most important duty of any Jamesian is to attempt to carry on the Prophet's works, ideally by the creation of new New Style games [Creation 4, Verse 1], but if that's not possible, then by the playing of the Prophet's New Style games [Creation 4, Verse 5] or the playing of Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay [Creation 2, Verse 3].
Note: Theological opinion is currently divided as to whether the new second edition of WFRP is an acceptable Jamesian substitute for the Prophet's own first edition.
However, when it comes to living your life as a Jamesian, there is one overriding principle that you should follow. Whenever you have a decision to make you should ask yourself one question.
"What would James do?"
Copyright © 2006 Critical Miss Gaming Society