Main Logo What You Guys Need Is A Lawyer!
Contents Eventually a good rules lawyer will become marked out. Particularly insecure games masters may even ban you from campaigns. Obviously, moving onto other groups can help here, but what measures can you take to stop yourself becoming known for your lawyering prowess?

Stealth Lawyering

Stealth lawyering basically involves keeping your knowledge of the rules secret. Many games masters like to purchase a new games system which they, and only they, will run. They will allow the players to read the "player's handbook" but will keep the games masters stuff to them self.

The tactic to follow here is obvious: purchase the games masters rule book, but keep it a secret. When quoting rules ensure that you are vague, sounding as though you are trying to guess what common sense would dictate should be written.

A good technique to follow here is that of the alternate games shop. You probably make most of your roleplaying purchases from the same local games shop. Your fellow players probably frequent the same establishment. You're known, a face. People will talk.

The solution here is to find another establishment to make your "secret" purchases. Don't use this for anything else. Park your car round the corner and wear shades. Don't linger. Don't chat. Just select your item, pay in cash, and get the hell out.

And for God sake keep the rule book hidden when you have visitors round.

(A good double-bluff technique is to keep it underneath a hidden pile of porno mags. Let's face it, if you find a porno mag under a friend's mattress you're ain't gunna look further - you'll just start taking the piss there and then).

Proxy Lawyering

Proxy lawyering involves using the other players to make your arguments for you. This is a difficult trick to pull off, but with a few discretely passed notes, and quick summaries while the games master takes toilet breaks, you can get a lot done.

Remote Lawyering

This is not something I've personally come across, but with the growth of mobile communications there seems to be a great opportunity for some kind of remote advice centre that gamers can contact.

"Gamers advice and strategy centre. Robert speaking. How may I help you?"

1-800-RULESLAW anyone..?
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Copyright 1999 Critical Miss Gaming Society

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