Ask Doctor Bubba

Dear Doctor Bubba, I wrote to you last issue to ask you advice about the feelings I was having for my friend. You're the creep who fancied a tattoo, right? If you recall, I was having sexual feelings for the picture of a girl that was tattooed onto my friend's arm. At first things got a little better, mainly because summer turned into autumn, and she stopped wearing sleeveless dresses. But now things have got a little more complicated. My friend has gone through many changes of appearance, brunette to scarlet to blond to brunette to brunette with purple tinges and back to blond, and somewhere along the line I realised that... What? I liked her. A lot. In the wrong way. For a friend that is. We went to Paris for the weekend, and then afterwards I blurted out how I feel, and, well I think you can deduce the nature of her reply from the fact that I'm writing to you. You took her to Paris, the city of lovers, offered her your undying devotion, and you still got blown out? What a loser! What should I do? I believe a short goodbye note followed by a long drop off a multi-story car park is the standard move in this sort of case. Alternatively check out this website: http://www.netcomuk.co.uk/~tcant/Ugh/ugh.html It's for losers just like you. Jonny N. P.S. Remember my webzine that I mentioned in my previous letter? Well I've just published another issue. Perhaps you'd like to take a look at it? Mate, get with the program. We don't give a shit about your poxy webzine.

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