Critical Miss: Issue 4 (Gamers, Food, Exercise...)

Gamers, Food, Exercise...

You might be wondering where your esteemed author weighs in on the obesity scale. You might also be wanting to kick his ass. Too bad, you only get the first one.

My 5'11" frame supports about 200 pounds worth of gamer. Am I muscular? Sort-of. Am I flabby? Sort-of. If I wear a baggy shirt, I look flat-stomached. If I tuck it in, no such luck. But somehow, I become a virtual Van Damme when I compare myself to my gaming bretheren.

Is it so hard for the average pencil and paper gamer to put down the dice for a couple of hours and work out? My God man! Put down the fucking Ho-Ho and MOVE THAT FAT ASS!

And what is it about gamer's wives? Is it ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY that every gamer's wife must weigh two times as much as her husband? Do you know how cruel it is to see fantasy adventure in terms of the chiseled female physique portrayed by Boris Vellejo and Larry Elmore, and then to gaze upon the pudgy splendor of a 350 pound heffer two seats down? Do you? DO YOU?

Sorry...got a little carried away there.

The point is this, people: You don't have to be a super-duper physical specimen. You just have to have a little respect for the temple that is your body. So, I've included a couple of things that every pencil and paper gamer can do to trim a bit of the fat from the meat.

Advice...