How To Win a Role-Playing Game

Step 3: Character Personality The most important step to hide your intentions is to give your character a funny and very entertaining personality. Important things for you to do are speak in an amusing voice (high squeaky ones are the most fun) and to do completely outrageous actions. Many examples include always shouting "Where's the money!?" when talking to someone, or doing spontaneous random acts when greeting a new humanoid species. And MOST IMPORTANTLY, don't do anything that will be directly involved with the campaign. Try your best not to save the day or to do really brave/stupid things, unless you are the only one left to do it. Whine if you want to get out of doing something. I know that such behaviours lead someone to playing a gnome, halfling, or kender. That's how it works best. Anything else is just a Chaotic Neutral human or elf. It's too easy to play a nut, so it's much more challenging to play a mischievous character. Also, this helps mask your power even more. So, if you've been following my directions perfectly, then the party will be too cautious to do anything upsetting, since they believe that the game is run by you, even though they do enjoy your constant humour. No one can usurp you, because they cannot complete the first step: If someone else is taking notes, it will look real stupid if we have two people with the same information. Plus, they cannot incriminate anyone because they do not have any written proof. That rules out the second step, because you haven't done anything interesting to attract the GM's attention. He/She will ignore any notes that do not involve your character's actions, thus eliminating step three.

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