Critical Miss: Issue 5 (Card Customisation and Deck Assembly)

Card Customisation and Deck Assembly

Before you can play the game, you need to assemble your cards into a deck.

Note:- This section assumes that you have already collected at least 40 prostitute cards.

What Cards Qualify?

Cards must be genuine prostitute advert cards of the kind found in telephone boxes. Only properly printed cards (e.g. by a commercial printer) on sturdy card qualify. Handwritten cards, or cards that were printed on a standard laser printer are not acceptable.

Some cards are properly printed, but do not have the phone number printed on them. Instead, a space is left, and the number written in with a marker.

Strictly speaking, under Pimp tournament rules, these card are not legal. However, you may in your games create a house rule where they are allowed, as long as all players are in agreement.

In the cases of disputes, where all other players feel that a player's card is not genuine, the accused player has two options:

a) Remove the card from his deck.

b) Phone the number (preferably on a speaker phone) and in the following conversation gain proof that the card is genuine (preferably without breaking any local laws). *

* Don't be stupid on this one. And don't mention that you removed the card from the phone box because they tend to get pretty pissed off at that. (And if you get carried away, make an appointment and then go and keep the appointment, we think you're very stupid, and if you catch AIDS and die, don't come blaming us).

Marking Cards

Pimp is a customisable, collectible card game. This means that ones you collect the card you actually customise them.

Customising them takes the form of writing extra information on them, as outlined in the following rules.

When you write on a card you must write clearly and use a permanent ink. Some glossy cards are hard to write on. In this case you may put stickers on and write on those, as long as the stickers don't obscure any necessary detail.

TIP:- I found that permanent overhead projector pens will pretty much write on anything. It's worth getting hold of a set because it will make marking up the cards much easier.

Preparing Cards

CHECKING IF IT CAN BE A SPECIAL CARD

There are two types of cards used in the game:

Bitch cards.

Special cards.

Most cards are bitch cards, but a few can instead be marked as special cards.

To check if a card can be marked as a special card, add up the last three digits of the phone number. If they add up to a number divisible by 5 (e.g. 0, 5, 10, 15, 20 or 25) then you have the option of marking it as one of the following special cards.

Total	Card Name
0	King of Cool
5	Tame Shrink
10	Word on the Streets
15	Posse
20	Bitch Magnet
25	Charisma

To mark a card as a special card, simply write the name of the particular card across it. Details of what these cards do can be found in the accompanying rules on playing the game.

Note 1: If you mark a card as a special card, then you cannot undo this. It can never be used as a bitch card.

Note 2: If a card has more than one phone number on it, then you can check both of them to see if it qualifies as a special card. If both phone numbers qualify it to be a special card, but two different types of special card, you must choose one type. A special card can only be of one type.

Note 3: You don't have to mark the card as a special card.

Example:

You have a card with a phone number of:

020 7XXX 5456

The final three numbers add up to 15 (4 + 5 + 6) so you can mark this card as Posse. You decide to do so.

You write "POSSE" in clear, large letters across the front of the card.

MARKING ATTRIBUTES

If you haven't marked the card as a special card, then it will become a bitch card.

Circle the last three pairs of numbers in the phone number, marking them F, L and S. If there is more than one phone number then first select one of them. The three numbers are, in order, Fight, Looks and Stamina.

Note: High is good. 0 counts as 0 and is therefore bad.

Example:

You have a card whose phone number is:

020 7XXX 3529

She will have a fight of 5, looks of 2 and stamina of 9. She's okay in a fight, pretty ugly, but she can screw all night and still be up for more.

DETERMINING TYPE OF BITCH

There are two types of bitch cards:

Streetwalkers.

Attributes.

How many services the girl offers.

Whether she is a streetwalker or an escort.

Whether there is a photo or picture on the card, and what type it is.

Add 1 for each attribute greater than or equal to 7.

Each level of service costs 1.

Being an escort adds 1 to the cost.

Having a picture (not-photo) or all or part of a person adds 1 to the cost.

Having a black-and-white photo (mono-colour, e.g. green-and-white, or purple-and-white counts) adds 2 to the cost.

Having a full colour photo adds 3 to the cost.

Example:

The full text of the card mentioned above is:

Annika, Young 18 Year old Swedish girl with O and A Levels. The card has a colour photo of a girl.

The phone number ends in 334.

You choose to underline all the keywords, giving services of Young - 2, Ethnic - 1, Oral - 1 and Anal - 1.

The cost will be 5 for the services (young-2 counts as 2), plus 1 for being an escort (it mentions her name), plus 3 for having a colour photo. Since all three attributes are below 7, there is no cost there.

Thus the cost for this card will be 9.

If her phone number ended in 378, giving her a looks of 7 and a stamina of 8, the cost would be two greater, e.g. 11.

You should write the cost in the top-right corner of the card.

Assembling A Deck

Now that you have customised your cards, you need to assemble them into a deck.

You must have at least 40 cards.

You cannot have more than 4 cards of any design in the deck. This unique criteria is applied to the original card itself, not your customisations. Customising the same card in two different ways does not mean you can have 4 of one and 4 of the other.

OPTIONAL RULE TO LIMIT ATTRIBUTES

One rule that we are considering is a limit on attribute totals. The possible rule is as follows:

"The total of attributes of all non-special cards in the deck must not exceed 600. Attribute totals are calculated by adding the attributes together. Thus if a card has a Fight of 7, Looks of 5 and Stamina of 4, it has a total of 15."

At the moment we have decided not to institute this rule. As Bubba and Bog Boy pointed out, collectible card games aren't supposed to be fair. Of course, the fact that their decks are stuffed full of 7-9-9 Japanese Ninja Bitches might have something to do with it.

For the moment, there are no limits. However, if and when we do Pimp tournaments, we might institute this rule. Let us know what you think.

Playing

You are now ready to play. Look at the accompanying rules to "The Rules of the Game".

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