The RPG Cliche List

MUD Law. Barring gamemaster fiat or point abuse, player characters in almost all RPGs start out at the bottom of the food chain, with relatively little power. Class/level systems and the World of Darkness series are particularly flagrant about this. (So named for online Multi-User Dungeons, which typically start characters off with such starkly pathetic capabilities that woodland animals are a worthy adversary.)

Multiverser Law #1. It is more important to defend oneself from Christian Fundamentalists by embracing them than to avoid alienating the gamers who might actually have bought your game.

Multiverser Law #2. The more a game designer can needlessly write on and on and on about a concept, the better. Even simple concepts like surprise and skill advancement need huge, convoluted, long-winded passages to explain them. (This might also have been called the Aria Law, but Multiverser was a more insidious example of this kind of abuse.)

Multiverser Law #3. Before publicly declaring their game to be totally original and unlike all other games, game designers do not actually need to know anything about the history of RPGs beyond AD&D 1st edition. Similarly, these designers should expect gamers to accept their claims at face value, and condescend to those who don't.

Multiverser Law #4. It is acceptable to quote reviews out of context in order to make your game look good. In addition, posting the review with a running commentary for it cannot in any way be considered "editing". See also the Ministry Of Truth Law.

Munchkin. Player whose goal in the game is to amass as much power and kills as possible, whatever the costs to role-playing, the storyline, fairness, or logic (of course, as most munchkins play Dungeons & Dragons and other class/level games, things like role-playing, storylines, fairness, and logic have little place anyway). Often still has pimples. Everyone by this point has run into these individuals. The Munchkin's Guide To Power Gaming (by Steve Jackson Games) offers a detailed and entertaining analysis of munchkins and their tactics.

Nephilim Law. In modern-day occult games, mortal humans are considered to have the same intrinsic worth as cattle. (So named for Nephilim, a game that is particularly blatant about this.)

Nixon. A LARP player who, no matter how charming, pleasant, and intelligent they might be in real life, is completely incapable of playing a character that doesn't immediately come across as slimy, underhanded, and leering.

Octopoidal Freud Rule. Any creature with tentacles invariably has some form of sexual perversion. Also called the Inju Rule.

Octopoidal Horror Rule. Creatures from another dimension or "beyond reality" always have tentacles.

Paper Clip In Socket Law. Almost all player character groups will relentlessly screw with anything out of the ordinary (especially if it looks like it might contain something). If no better reason exists, they will do this simply because the gamemaster put it there. See also Mook Law #2.

Path Model Rule. Supernatural powers in games (especially modern-day occult ones) must be divided into levels, with one effect or aspect of the power per level. (Exception: Unknown Armies)

PBEM Law. Play-By-Email RPGs invariably fail. Those that don't are instantly relegated to the realm of mythology.

PineSol Law. In fantasy games, all elves should use foliage types or some reference to the sun in their names. (Exception: Dark Sun, again) See also the Axebeard Law.

Power Kill Law. Any "moral" or "style" commentary on the gaming industry is an elitism fantasy.

Preteenage Fanboy Law. With the advent of the World Wide Web, it is now possible (and apparently necessary) for idiots to create and post D&D character classes based on their favorite TV show/movie/video game: tomb raiders, highlanders, vampire slayers, power rangers, predators, Matrix dudes, etc.

Psychopath Law. In most games, player characters have absolutely no problem butchering anyone it would be helpful to kill, even if the player characters are supposed to be nice guys or were formerly non-combatants. (Exceptions: Unknown Armies, Kult) See also Hunter Law #2.

Railroading. Any time the gamemaster will not allow players to deviate from the adventure's one set path or even make their own decisions. Campaigns with heavy railroading offer few draws over CRPGs or (for that matter) the multitudes of solo game books that proliferated during the 80's. See also T-Rex On The Plains.

Reincarnation Homicide Defense. This is when players in games that prominently feature reincarnation (Kult, Witchcraft, etc) stop caring about how many people they've slaughtered, since the victims will eventually be reincarnated anyway.

Rolemaster Law #1. Games need so many charts that their gamemaster's screen literally takes half the average gaming table.

Rolemaster Law #2. Although Rolemaster is still played even today, its adherents have long since accepted the futility of defending it against criticism.

Roll-Playing. When character statistics and rolling dice (especially for combat) become more important than role-playing or telling a story. This is the first kind of gaming style to ever exist, and is often decried by gamers who forget that having fun is more important than "creating art". Also called Rule-Playing.

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