The RPG Cliche List

Saturation Law. At any given point, at least half of all gamers have plans or dreams of creating and publishing their own RPG. The fact that many of these gamers actually succeed has (by this point) lead to the arguable fact that there are simply too many RPGs in circulation compared to the total number of gamers.

Scrawny Mnemonic. Not necessarily a derogatory term, the scrawny mnemonic is one of those unassuming, small-statured LARPers (sometimes a Wallflower, as well) who has the awesome power to carry around a full copy of the rules, index and all, in their head. Frequently consulted by mere mortals on fine rules points. When Scrawny Mnemonics meet, they can bang mental databases for hours, and can be driven out of conversation only by the need for food, water, or sleep.

Seagalism. When a player attempts to play the same character type and personality in every game they play. (So named for Steven Seagal, who plays the same damned character every movie.) See also Freud's Cliche.

SJG Law. Keeping page references current is far more important than being able to actually update a game system. See also the Middle Finger Evolution Law.

Sociopath And Model Problem. This is when players don't get together during character creation and end up creating characters that are hopelessly, violently incompatible. (So named for a short-lived Kult campaign where the two player characters were a grating, brain-dead model and a misogynistic serial killer.)

Sovereign Stone Law. RPG writers and designers who were legendarily good in the past are not guaranteed to ever be good again.

Spandex Fallacy Law. All superhero games have rules that intrinsically suck. (Exception: Champions...I think)

Splat. Obligatory subspecies/subgroup/sub-something that supernatural beings in modern-day occult games are classified into. (Example: vampire clans, werewolf tribes and mage traditions in the World of Darkness games, prides in Immortal, covenants in Witchcraft, etc.) These subgroups are often stupid or illogical, and produce cookie-cutter characters. White Wolf pretty much started this tradition, and (like many cliches) it's more true for them than every other RPG put together.

Splatbook Law. No sourcebook based on a splat is ever worth buying or reading unless you're some fanboy who absolutely must have everything for the game line...or some embittered reviewer who needs something new to make fun of.

Star Trek: the Next Generation Law. In most games, if you expose an enslaved, mindless, or assimilated being to freedom, they'll convert to it in a minute or less and never want to go back. (Apologies to Heather Grove, who wrote about this far earlier than I did.)

Stoic Moron Law. Unless they fail a fear check (if the game even has fear checks) and the gamemaster specifically tells them they're afraid, most players will assume their characters are fearless and have absolutely no problem doing things like running through a tunnel full of tarantulas or sticking a piece of lit dynamite into a towering, screaming monster made of decaying flesh, twisted metal, and half-consumed victims.

Synnibarr Biography Law. High fantasy games with character levels, mutant super-powers, ultra-technology, magic, psionics, and other crap can "ring with authenticity" if the author has studied engineering.

Synnibarr Biography Law #2. Jumping off a diving board is an impressive enough accomplishment to merit mentioning in your author's bio note (or resume, for that matter).

Tavern Rule. In fantasy games, player characters usually not only start the campaign in a tavern or inn, but immediately become best friends. As with the Tolkien Law, this is one of the oldest cliches in existence...pretty much every fantasy gamemaster has used it.

Temple Orgy Law. Every RPG book, especially modern-day occult ones, must have at least one sexually themed picture, no matter how out of place the picture might be. (Clanbook Assamite was a perfect example: despite being vampires (who have no interest in sex or any other physical pleasure) and being Islamic, the Assamites evidently need to throw huge orgies.)

"The Best Game Since SenZar!" An obviously tongue-in-cheek line, best used by game designers who want to say "I'm pretty sure my game doesn't suck, but I don't want to sound pretentious."

TINATH. Short for "Teen in a Top Hat." An admittedly cynical and derogatory term for the garden-variety young LARPer who, though attired in shorts and a T-shirt, somehow feels dressed to the nines by the addition of a top hat to their wardrobe. This term is generally used by older, more experienced LARPers who tend to see acting ability, wit, and social grace as being more important than a single expensive prop.

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