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Step 1: The Theme Of The Game Is
The Character You Play
In most games, the theme is related
to either the setting or the genre. So in D&D;, you can
play any kind of heroic fantasy character. In Star Wars
you play characters within the Star Wars universe.
But in an NAMG, the theme of the game
is that you all play characters of a certain nature, be
it wizards, rats*, or second-hand life insurance
salesmen. This is typically a "species" of some kind, but
it can be a role.
* I put this in as a joke, but I have
since found out that a certain well-known company does in
fact have a supplement which allows you to play a
rat.
Step 2: Call It "Something: The
Something Else"
...where "something" is the type of
character you play.
The "Something Else" doesn't really
have to have any meaning at all, and is primarily there
because you generally can't trademark the "something" on
its own.
It's difficult to trademark a word
like "Wizard" because it is an everyday word. But you
could trademark a phrase made up by yourself, like:
"Wizard: The Magical War".
Step 3: Set It In A World Almost
Like Our Own
Crucial step this. Your NAMG will not
be set in a fantasy or future-fantasy setting. It will be
set on Earth, either in the present day, or in the
near-future.
Except that it's not quite like our
Earth. It's close enough that the players will have some
familiarity with the setting, but different enough that
they will still have to buy "guidebooks" you
publish for each geographical area.
On the surface, it is our world, but
below it, hidden from the normal people (that's basically
everyone who isn't one of the "something") is a parallel
society.
This society has its own rules, its
own rulers and its own places. The members of that
society (e.g. the "something") know the real truth of the
world. The rest haven't got a fucking clue.
The beauty of this is that is
allows players to fantasise that this real world, is
actually the world of the NAMG, and the "something" are
actually out there, thus making the roleplaying
experience
more real. Of course, the disadvantage is that disturbed
players might actually start to believe that the real
world is the world of the NAMG, and thus be led into
making truly horrific fashion
mistakes.
Step 4: Have Some Overall
"Purpose"
It's not enough to just create a
setting where characters strive to achieve whatever the
hell kind of goals they happen to have. This isn't
Traveller.
There must be some kind of overall
purpose to the game. The "something" don't just happen to
exist. There is some significance to their existence.
(That's significance with a capital 'S').
You can't make this too over the top.
The players must believe that the characters they are
playing are really, really important. The more ludicrous
and preposterous the premise, the better. And if
you can tie it into existing myth or religion, possibly
in some kind of distorted manner, that's even better.
But we've probably been giving too
many rules, and not enough explanations. Let's start
constructing our example game.
NOTE:- The purpose of the example
shown is to satirise the tendency of certain companies to take
perfectly normal, perhaps even mundane, cultures, peoples,
legends and details, and significantise them with a capital S
(i.e. assign them a cosmic level of significance). We have
chosen to use a particular group as a vehicle of that satire.
It is not intention to in any way attack that group.
Step 1: The Characters
In our game, the players will play
members of the Homo, an ancient people who have
coexisted with the rest of humanity since the dawn of
time.
Step 2: The Name
We will call our NAMG "Homo: The
Buggering".
Step 3: The Setting
This is a world just like our own.
But take a wrong turning late at night, go into the wrong
bar, and you will find a world strangely different. It
will be full of men, but not men like you know.
They're witty, and charismatic, and they seem to
understand the arcane rules of clothing colour
combination in a way you thought only women could. And
come to mention women, there don't seem to be any
round here...
Step 4: The Overall Purpose
Okay. Let's take some stuff from the
bible, spin it through 180 degrees, and come up with
something really stupid.
In the beginning was the void. And it
was without form. Obviously, it was a void. Anyway -
following a phased six-day implementation strategy, God
was responsible for the creation of the universe, the
world, and man.
Sorry. Been talking to too many
marketeers. Let's try again.
God made the world, and us. It took
him six days.
On the sixth day, he created people,
two of them, so they wouldn't get lonely. They were
identical of shape and form. He called the first Veadame
and the second Edameva. So that they might have
somewhere to dwell, he created a paradise he called Eden.
Veadame and Edameva lived happily together at first. They
shared tasks. Neither was in charge. They were equal,
without conflict.
Then the serpent came. God had told
them never to eat the fruit of the tree at the centre of
Eden, but the serpent tempted them.
(I'll skip the long boring details of
what he said. If we were doing this as a NAMG we'd have a
comic strip at the front to explain all this crap, but we
aren't and we haven't, so I won't bother).
As you might imagine, God was not
terribly amused by this turn of events, and he realised
that humanity was not yet ready to live as co-dependant
equals.
So he merged Veadame and Edameva,
then split them again. Now they were man, Adam, and
woman, Eve. Adam would hunt, and build things, and sulk
when they fell down three hours later. Eve would cook,
clean, bear children, collect berries and water, make
clothes, operate the photocopier...
(alright they're weren't any
photocopiers in the garden of Eden, but they must have
included the genetic programming in there in advance,
'cous women just seem to understand photocopiers)
...and try not to laugh when Adam's
shelves fell down.
Men were given the vigour, the
aggression, a certain degree of spatial awareness skills,
and an ability to have fun whilst being ignorant of the
suffering of others.
Women were given the compassion, the
intuition, the emotional stability and the common
sense.
(Some people have suggested that
women got the shit end of the stick in this deal. They're
probably right.)
Anyway...
From that point on, there were men
and women. But it was not supposed to be this way for
ever. One day, when humanity had gained enough maturity,
it would return to the unified state. There would be
no men, and no women, just people.
At the beginning of time was an Eden.
So too at the end of time would there be an Eden. The
memory of what had been needed to be kept alive. So God
created the Homo.
The Homo would live among mankind.
Through oral history, and cultural practice, they would
keep alive the memory of what had been, and the knowledge
of what was to come.
They would do this through an
activity, a ritual, that they termed "The
Buggering".
Step 4a: Contradict The
Purpose
Later on, you should bring out other
games that are set within the same universe, but whose
purpose contradicts the purpose in the original game.
(E.g. if the characters in one game are correct in
their view of the whys of the universe, then characters
in the other game must be wrong).
Step 5: Powerful Nemesis
Linked in with the overall purpose,
should be a people or race or entity who are striving
against whatever the purpose is.
Step 6: Have Groups / Tribes /
Clans / Sects / Guilds Etc.
You should create a number of
groupings within the setting, with each character
belonging to a single group. The choice of group
influences not only the character's role within the
setting, but also
the personality, abilities and objectives of the
character.
There is one very important reason
why you should have separate groups. It enables you to
write a players guidebook (often termed a "splatbook")
for each separate group, thus increasing your sales
manyfold. And when you've done that, you can even write a
book for characters who don't belong to a group (you need
to define a special name for such characters, as they
kindof make a group in
themselves).
First you need to decide what your
groups will be called.
At first the Homo were united.
But over the millennia, they split, into separate
lifestyles.
Then you come up with the groups
themselves (you want at least half a dozen, preferably
more). We won't bother coming up with a complete list of
Lifestyles for the Homo. But here are a couple of
examples:
Butch: The Butch are the warriors
of the Homo. They tend to dress in leather, and sport
bushy moustaches.
Fay: The Fay are the artists of the
Homo. They are creative and intuitive, and often work in
the theatre or advertising.
Step 6a: The Dead Group
There should always be a group who no
longer exist, and are now shrouded in myth and
legend.
I was tempted to do something here
about the ancient Greeks... but perhaps not.
Step 6b: The Evil Group
There should always be a group (in
our example a "lifestyle") who are actively working
against the "purpose" described in step 4. (Preferably,
they should be working for the enemies described in step
5).
Not sure about this one, but
they'd probably be in the "closet", and working for
various right-wing political parties and "pro-family"
groups.
Step 7: Extra Powers
The characters - who are after all
members of the special race or people - should have more
and better abilities than normal people. Basically you
want munchkins to be able to just ignore all the
"angst" and "purpose" and "moral conflict" built into the
setting, and instead power-build combat-monsters.
Well we've already said that the
Homo are more charismatic and have more taste than is
the norm.
Step 8: No Advantages Or
Disadvantages
Many games have some concept of
advantages and disadvantages that can be used to flesh
out a character. This is not the case for a NAMG. You
should not include any such rules in your
rulebook.
They go in the Players Guide which
you will release three months later.
Step 9: Make The Character Sheet
Crap
Don't worry about the character sheet
in your standard rulebook being particularly useful.
You can always publish a better one
in the Players Guide, and better ones still in the
splatbooks for the various groups.
Step 10: Use Archaic
Terminology
When you are writing your rules, the
last thing you must do is call a spade a spade. The
thesaurus is your friend.
If you want to have an attribute
which measures strength, do not call it strength.
Instead, find an obscure word, not used in everyday
conversation since the 17th century, and use that
instead.
Step 11: Don't Call The Party, The
"Party"
Never call the party, the "party".
Think of a posh name to use instead.
Step 12: Catchy Phrases
Come up with some catchy phrases to
describe the game, something poetical, possibly from the
Keats era.
Step 13: LARP
At some point release an LARP version
using Paper Scissors Stone...
Step 14: The T-Shirts
Don't forget to release T-shirts with
obscure images from the main book, which by second
edition will have the dodgy (but possibly grittier)
graphics in it removed and the marketable ones
inserted.
Step 15: The Second
Edition
And finally, the second edition. Make
sure that the first edition includes enough mistakes and
limitations that you are able to produce a second edition
just a few years after the first.
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Copyright � 2002 Critical Miss Gaming Society
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