Critical Miss: Issue 5 (Universe Validity Test Kit)

Universe Validity Test Kit

When you and your friends go to a bar, do you:

A: Get a bit drunk, a bit miserable, whine a bit about the opposite sex, stagger out for some fast food and optionally a quiet puke.

B: Hit the dance floor in your expensively tailored suit, dance with several attractive and eligible women, select one and take her home to your penthouse apartment for a night of athletic sex.

C: Randomly bump into a bloke in trench coat and shades called Mr Johnson who, for no apparent reason, offers you all a large amount of money to undertake a quasi-legal security operation.

You have gone on a road trip driving holiday (vacation) through the continental USA with four other blokes. The five of you know each other because...

A: The five of you were friends at school.

B: One of you put an advert in a paper asking for participants in a driving holiday.

C: You've never thought about it... but come to mention it - you have absolutely no idea who these people are, or how the hell you came to be on holiday with them.

Do you keep your life savings:

A: In a bank account.

B: In a locked safe at your home.

C: In your backpack.

In your opinion is Jonny Nexus:

A: A really stupid name.

B: A bit of a stupid name.

C: A perfectly normal name.

If you are a woman:- When asked to describe yourself, you say:

A: I'm aged such-and-such. I live in wherever with my parents/ boyfriend/husband. I work as a whatever with whomever.

B: I work as a commodities dealer in the City. I live in a �400,000 flat in Docklands, and spend weekends with my boyfriend in his holiday home in France.

C: I'm 5'9" and 125 pounds. I have pert 34D breasts, platinum-blond, spiky hair and red sharpened fingernails. I wear silver lipstick, black stilettos with black armour-plated stockings, a leather jacket and a short black mini-skirt.

How fast can you run?

A: Dunno. Last time I ran for a bus I nearly had a heart attack.

B: Well at school I could do the 100 metres in under twelve seconds.

C: I can walk 1.1 meters per second, jog 2.2 metres per second and sprint 8.8 metres per second.

If you are English:- When faced with a puma or other dangerous animal you would:-

A: It isn't going to happen, since there are no pumas in England, except in zoos or maybe Bodmin Moor.

B: Approach with caution, but be safe in the knowledge that it is probably more scared than me.

C: Query the people around me to find out who has the best AC and most hitpoints as these things are damn dangerous and the last one nearly ate the whole party.

When it comes to morality and rights and treating people as individuals, do you believe that:

A: Every person's a special individual and should be treated accordingly.

B: Some people are just dodgy on account of their birth.

C: Some people are members of species who are inherently evil, and as such, going on expeditions with the express intention of slaughtering anyone who belongs to these species is not only acceptable, but is in fact laudable.

How did you do...