The Magazine for Dysfunctional Roleplayers








ISSUE 2 : Spring 1999


Hi,
      Welcome to the second issue of Critical Miss: the magazine for dysfunctional roleplayers. We've published this a little later than we had planned, due mainly to a combination of employment pressures and general apathy. Sorry for the wait.
      I've heard it said that for a rock group the second album is always the hardest, and I think the same is true for a magazine like this. In your first issue you use up every idea you've had over the last five years of thinking: "Wouldn't it be great to do a roleplaying magazine..."
      Then when you sit down to do issue 2, all you can think is: "Now what the fuck are we supposed to do?" But we did it, and here it is. People seemed to quite like issue 1, so we've tried to pretty much keep to the same style for its successor. Hope you like it.

Jonny Nexus, Editor, Critical Miss Magazine.


Hi You Guys Must Be The Party!
Character's die and players move on. To new characters. But when one of your PCs snuffs it ten miles into a network of caverns, and the player generates a new character you can hardly say: "Sorry Pete, your new character's still back in the city, so I guess you'll have to miss the next four play sessions 'til the guys finish this scenario."
      A guide to parachuting new player characters into a scenario in-progress.

Realism In Roleplaying
"Just for once I wanted the GM to tell me that my arrow had taken him straight up the shitter!" We discuss detailed rules systems and ask: "Is realism all it's cracked up to be?"

Dark Dungeons
A Hilarious Cartoon strip featuring the ultimate dysfunctional gaming group. Be Prepared to piss yourself laughing.

Playing Magic Badly & Still Having Fun
I used to enjoy playing Magic: The Gathering, throwing together a random selection of cards and calling it a deck. But then my friends started taking it too seriously. They actually read the text on the cards. They *designed* decks. And it wasn't fun.
      Until I stopped worrying about strategy, and worked on the meta-strategy instead. If you're a crap Magic player then read on.

Roleplaying In Blighty
From Dick Van Dyke's "Cockney" accent to a certain comic company's "British" super-group, the libels and slanders inflicted on the United Kingdom by the well-meaning but misguided productions of the American entertainment industry are legion.
      If you're not from these shores, but would like set a game in the real Britain as opposed to an "Englandville theme park" then read on, with our guide to using the United Kingdom as a roleplaying setting.

The Critical Miss Drinking Game
You haven't demanded it, but we've given it to you anyway. Prepare for an evening of fun, debauchery and drunken pleasure with our very own Critical Miss drinking game.

Things You Can't Afford
To you your character is Dirk Stonebladder, ex-special forces, with combat skills to die for. But to your gameworld he's just another unemployed, homeless ex-soldier.
      A guide to handling loans and borrowing, by MJM.

The Freak
This issue the Character Cookbook team attempt to shred, tear and generally mutilate the Heroes Unlimited system with The Freak - an overpowered and unbalanced superhero for the post-four-colour generation. But remember kids, this is just for fun. Don't try it at home.

Men In Dresses
It is sometimes said that when a male roleplayer plays a male character, he is playing who he would like to be; when he plays a female character he is playing who he would like to be inside. We ask: "Can men really roleplay female characters?"

The Bribe System - Some Questions Answered
We clear up a few issues that people have raised about the Bribe System that was published in Issue 1.

Live Roleplaying: Gaming or Shaming?
When we roleplayers talk about roleplaying we are invariably referring to sitting around a table, eating pizza and rolling dice. But out there are a different tribe, who wear platemail and sackcloth, and hit each other with foam swords in dark caves. They too call themselves roleplayers. We ask:
      What is this live roleplaying anyway?

Owning Your Own Business
Modern-day and Futuristic games are generally set in a heavily capitalistic setting with businesses as the major powers. But how much do YOU know about how a business is actually structured?
      If your PC group fancies the idea of operating as a business then check out MJM's guide to owning and operating a business.

Dysfunctional Gamer Self-Diagnosis Kit
Worried you might be a dysfunctional gamer? Read on...
copyright © 1999 Critical Miss Gaming Society
Critical Miss Magazine is published four three times a year by the Critical Miss Gaming Society.

GURPS is a registered trademark of Steve Jackson Games inc. Dream Park is a registered trademark of Tower Of Night Enterprises. Traveller is a registered trademark of Far Future Enterprises. Paranoia is a trademark of West End Games. Heroes Unlimited is a trademark of Kevin Siembieda and Palladium Books Inc. Magic: The Gathering is a trademark of Wizards of the Coast Inc. Critical Miss Magazine recognises the status of all copyrights, trademarks, product names and registered trademarks, and the use of the aforementioned within the publication should not be construed as a challenge to such status.